Development Digest - April 2025
“Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.”
– Dr. Gabor Maté
Understanding and Healing Through Your Nervous System
April was a great month for us at the Academy for Personal Development. During many of our client sessions and on our Morning Intentions podcast, we explored a topic that touches every part of our lives: our nervous system. We decided to make April all about our nervous system because many of us were taught to think of stress, anxiety, and shutdown as personality flaws or personal failures.
But the truth is far more hopeful: these experiences are often signs that our nervous system is trying to protect us.
Our central nervous system is our body's communication network, connecting our brain, heart, lungs, digestive system, emotions, and more. We spent some time on our podcast giving an overview of the central nervous system. (If you missed these episodes and would like a central nervous system refresher, you might want to go back and listen to these episodes.) Then, during sessions and on our podcast, we centered our focus for the rest of the month on the autonomic nervous system, the part that runs automatically without our conscious effort.
Our autonomic nervous system has two main branches: the sympathetic system (which prepares us to act in moments of stress) and the parasympathetic system (which helps us rest, digest, and heal). We feel resilient, connected, and grounded when these systems work in balance. But when stress, trauma, or chronic pressure overwhelm us, our nervous system can become dysregulated, sending us into a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response.
Common signs of nervous system dysregulation include physical symptoms like headaches, shallow breathing, or digestive issues. Emotionally, dysregulation may show up as anxiety, irritability, emotional numbness, or difficulty focusing. Many people live in a near-constant state of dysregulation without even realizing it, believing it's just "how life is supposed to feel."
In truth, we are not meant to be stuck in survival mode and dysregulation. Our fast-paced, high-stimulation culture, filled with notifications, deadlines, and constant demands, trains our bodies to stay in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn even when we’re not in real danger. Additionally, continuous dysregulation disconnects us from our bodies, emotions, and even each other.
That’s why healing is often about slowing down, reconnecting, and making small daily choices that remind our nervous system that it is safe to rest.
Daily habits that support nervous system regulation include mindful breathing, spending time in nature, checking in with our bodies, connecting with supportive people, and building simple, soothing routines. These practices may seem small, but they help create an internal environment where healing can happen naturally over time.
What’s essential to us is that we all understand that the journey of healing your nervous system is not about “fixing yourself.” It’s about learning how your body communicates, offering it safety and care, and rebuilding a sense of trust in your experiences. It’s also about remembering that you are not broken; you are beautifully wired for survival and, most importantly, for thriving.
We invite you to walk gently with yourself as you learn to understand your nervous system. Each small moment of awareness, each deep breath, and each act of kindness toward yourself is a decisive step on your journey toward healing.
You are not alone, and above all, your healing is possible!
Please reach out if you need our support,
Annette and Ada
Your Go-To Source for Personal Development Insights and Practical Advice
If you haven’t tuned in to our Morning Intentions podcast yet, we’d love to invite you to join us! Each episode is created with you in mind, offering insight, encouragement, and practical support to help you grow with intention.
Whether you’re starting your day or pausing for a moment of reflection, we’re here to walk alongside you on your personal development journey.
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Presence Over Pressure
It feels like everyone expects me to show up to every event this time of year - graduations, family dinners, barbecues, and weddings. How do I gracefully bow out of some of these without upsetting people?
Thank you for your question! We chose to answer your question in our newsletter because many people have a similar experience this time of year.
This season can be full of beautiful celebrations, but it can also be overwhelming. Just because an invitation arrives doesn’t mean you must say yes. You have the right to protect your time, energy, and well-being. The key is communicating with kindness and clarity.
Here’s what we suggest:
Start with gratitude. Express your appreciation for being invited.
Be honest, but be careful not to over-explain. A simple “I’m not able to make it, but I hope it’s a wonderful celebration” is enough.
Offer another option for connection. If the person inviting you is someone close, you might suggest getting together at another time, such as meeting for coffee or going on a walk to have uninterrupted time for connection.
Remember, when you choose your “yes” with intention, it carries more meaning, and most people will understand, especially if your message is honest and sincere.
Here’s our gentle mantra for this busy season:
I choose presence over pressure.
Warmly,
Annette & Ada
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Do you have questions about personal development, navigating relationships, or creating a more balanced and fulfilling life? If you have a question, there’s a very good chance you are not alone, and now’s your chance to ask us directly! Each month, we’ll choose one or more questions to answer in our newsletter. Whether you’re seeking advice on setting boundaries, developing self-understanding, or simply finding peace in the midst of life’s challenges, we’re here to provide you with thoughtful, compassionate insights.
Your privacy is our priority. While we’ll share your questions and our answers, we’ll never share your name or identifying details. Feel free to ask any personal development question that’s on your heart or mind. This is your opportunity to gain clarity and guidance in a safe and supportive space.
To submit your question, visit the newsletter page of our website and click the big button that says “Submit Your Question for Ask Annette and Ada.”
Send us your questions today, and you might see your answer in our next edition of Development Digest.
April’s Recommendation:
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
If you’re looking for a fresh perspective on boundaries, expectations, and emotional freedom, The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins might be the exact mindset shift you need. In her signature no-nonsense style, Robbins delivers a powerful and simple idea: When people behave in ways that disappoint, frustrate, or confuse you, let them.
Let them isn’t about giving up or becoming passive. It’s about emotional liberation.
So often, we exhaust ourselves trying to control what others say, do, or think. We replay conversations, try to manage others’ opinions, or go out of our way to win approval. Robbins offers another way: release the grip. Let them judge. Let them flake. Let them misunderstand.
And most importantly, let them go if they aren’t aligned with your peace.
Robbins argues that by letting others be who they are, you free yourself to be who you are. This book speaks to anyone who has ever tried too hard, taken on too much, or held on too long. It’s not just a theory, it’s a practice. Moreover, it can change your relationships, boost your energy, and empower your sense of self-worth.
In our coaching practice, we often discuss boundaries, self-awareness, and emotional resilience. This book lines up beautifully with what we teach and how we coach. It reminds us that healthy non-attachment isn’t cruel, it’s wise. Often, the best response to behavior we can’t control is simply: let them.
Highly readable, deeply empowering, and easy to implement, The Let Them Theory is one of those small-but-mighty books that sticks with you. Robbins also does an amazing job with the Audible version. (Annette’s favorite!) You feel like she’s sitting down with you at your kitchen table, guiding you to trust yourself because when you let them, you also let you!
Self-Care Tip of the Month:
Own What You Know
One of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is to stop downplaying your strengths. We all have gifts, insights, and areas of expertise, whether they come from lived experience, formal training, or simply the way we show up in the world. But too often, we minimize what we know, shrug off compliments, or defer to others out of habit.
This month, give yourself permission to own what you know.
You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room, but don’t silence yourself either. Self-care is more than rest and relaxation; it’s also about recognizing your value and standing in it. When you acknowledge your strengths, you nurture your self-worth. When you speak from your truth, you strengthen your confidence.
Try this practice: The next time someone compliments you, simply say, “Thank you.” No explanations, no brush-offs, no “Oh, it was nothing.” Let it land. Let it count.
You’ve worked hard for what you know. Let it be enough. Let you be enough!
Recipe of the Month
Stuffed Bell Peppers
Packed with protein, fiber, and flavor, these stuffed bell peppers are a wholesome and comforting meal that doesn't weigh you down. They're easy to make, easy to customize, and a great way to add more veggies to your week!
Ingredients
4 large bell peppers (any color), halved and seeds removed
1 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 zucchini, finely chopped
1 cup cooked quinoa or brown rice
1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup corn (fresh or frozen)
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup shredded cheese or dairy-free cheese (optional)
Fresh cilantro or parsley for garnish
Optional: Top with salsa or avocado. You can also serve with a drizzle of plain Greek yogurt or dairy-free yogurt.
Instructions
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Place bell pepper halves in a baking dish.
In a large skillet, heat olive oil. Sauté onion until translucent. Add garlic and zucchini, and cook until softened.
Stir in quinoa or rice, black beans, corn, and spices. Cook until heated through. Adjust seasoning to taste.
Spoon filling into each bell pepper. Top with cheese if using.
Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.
Remove foil and bake another 10 minutes or until peppers are tender and cheese is melted.
Top with fresh herbs and any desired garnishes.
