Development Digest - May 2025
“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
– C.S. Lewis
Friendship
Each month at the Academy for Personal Development, we take a deep and thoughtful look at a single topic that supports meaningful growth and lasting transformation. Our goal is to provide you, our beloved clients, listeners, and readers, with valuable insights and practical tools you can use each day because personal development is more than a concept; it’s a way of living with intention, clarity, and connection.
In May, we turned our hearts toward one of life’s greatest treasures: Friendship. In a world that often celebrates independence and self-reliance, we devoted time to honoring the importance of human connection, mutual care, and the kind of love that shows up in everyday ways.
Throughout the month, we utilized our Working Definition:
Friendship is a bond built on mutual trust, shared experiences, emotional support, and genuine care for each other’s well-being. It is a relationship chosen freely, nurtured intentionally, and strengthened through kindness, honesty, and presence.
Even though we may not realize it, before we can truly be a friend to others, we must learn to be a friend to ourselves. The way we speak to ourselves, care for ourselves, and show up for our own needs sets the tone for every relationship we have. As we always say, we can’t give from an empty well, and this applies to friendship, too! When we don’t know who we are or honor our own feelings, needs, and desires, we truly cannot be fully present for others, support them during hard times, provide a space held for honesty, or be that quiet comfort of a loving presence.
Moreover, our friendships must be taken seriously, as they are more than just a social label or shared history. They are living, breathing relationships that need nurturing, attention, and care. Genuine friendship is a practice founded on presence, emotional safety, shared joy, and the capacity to grow together over time.
Please use our simple, heartfelt, how-to guide as a compass to help you embody the spirit of friendship:
Action Steps for Being a Friend
Be Present – Your presence matters more than your words. Sometimes the best gift is simply showing up with your full attention and an open heart.
Be Honest with Kindness – Speak truth with love. Honesty deepens trust, especially when delivered with care and compassion.
Be Consistent – Reliable friendships are built over time. Consistency lets others know they can count on you, not just when it’s easy, but when it matters most.
Support Without Trying to Fix – True friends don’t rush to solve problems; they listen, validate, and stand beside us as we navigate life’s challenges.
Apologize – When we get it wrong (and we all do), a sincere apology goes a long way in restoring connection and showing that we value the relationship. Remember, our actions must match our words – and the best apology is changed behavior.
Celebrate Their Joys – Let your friend’s wins feel like your wins. Being a cheerleader for a friend’s happiness makes the bond even stronger.
Be Gentle – Friendship doesn’t require perfection. It thrives on compassion and grace, as well as the willingness to love one another through life’s messy moments.
Whether we talked about friendship during your sessions this month and/or you joined us for our podcast, we appreciate you exploring with us what it means to be a friend!
Join Us Each Weekday Morning!
What we love about our podcast is that it gives us an opportunity to talk through our Academy’s theme of the month, just like we did throughout May with our theme of FRIENDSHIP.
For June, we’ve chosen a fun theme that we are excited about, and if you don’t already, please consider starting your day with us. And if you hear something on our podcast that you would like to discuss further during your sessions, please do! The goal of our podcast is to supplement your sessions, share honest conversations, offer meaningful insights, and provide practical advice.
As we say at the end of each episode, because WE MEAN IT . . .
Our day is better because YOU are part of our day!
Click here for a sample episode
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Am I Behind?
Is it normal to feel like I’m behind in life? I keep comparing myself to other people my age, and it seems like everyone else has it more together than I do. I feel like I missed some kind of memo on how to do adulthood right.
We hear a version of your question more often than you might think, and we want to start by saying: Yes, it’s normal. And no, you’re not behind.
Life doesn’t follow a universal timeline, and the idea that there’s one perfect path or one right schedule is a myth. Your growth, healing, and self-discovery don’t run on anyone else’s clock. Comparing your life to someone else’s is like comparing the seasons of two different gardens. One might be in full bloom while the other is quietly growing roots. Both are precisely where they need to be.
When we feel behind, it’s often because we’re using someone else’s values, goals, or circumstances as a measuring stick for our own lives.
But your journey is yours alone, and it’s okay to move at your own pace.
Would you be willing to revise your question? If so, instead of asking, “Am I behind?” try asking yourself, “Am I becoming the person I truly want to be?”
Be kind to yourself.
Keep growing.
Keep showing up.
You’re right on time!
Warmly,
Annette & Ada
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Do you have questions about personal development, navigating relationships, or creating a more balanced and fulfilling life? If you have a question, there’s a very good chance you are not alone, and now’s your chance to ask us directly! Each month, we’ll choose one or more questions to answer in our newsletter. Whether you’re seeking advice on setting boundaries, developing self-understanding, or simply finding peace in the midst of life’s challenges, we’re here to provide you with thoughtful, compassionate insights.
Your privacy is our priority. While we’ll share your questions and our answers, we’ll never share your name or identifying details. Feel free to ask any personal development question that’s on your heart or mind. This is your opportunity to gain clarity and guidance in a safe and supportive space.
To submit your question, visit the newsletter page of our website and click the big button that says “Submit Your Question for Ask Annette and Ada.”
Send us your questions today, and you might see your answer in our next edition of Development Digest.
May’s Recommendation:
In our coaching practice, we’ve seen time and again how gratitude can transform not just a moment, but a mindset. That’s why we’re excited to introduce you to Your 100 Gratitudes Challenge, a simple yet powerful invitation to pause and reflect on the good that surrounds you. Whether it’s the warmth of your morning coffee, the support of a friend, or the courage you showed in a difficult moment, every acknowledgment of gratitude adds to a more grounded, positive, and resilient you. This practice isn’t about perfection or pressure, and it may take you a few months to complete.
We hope you’ll take on the Challenge and rediscover just how much meaning and goodness already exist in your life.
Self-Care Tip of the Month:
Get Some Sleep!
We often try to “push through” tiredness, treating sleep as something optional or negotiable. Yet here’s the truth:
Don’t cut corners with your sleep because it’s when your body repairs, your mind restores, and your nervous system finds balance.
When we don’t get enough sleep, we’re not just tired, we’re dysregulated. Our nervous systems stay stuck in survival mode, making it harder to respond calmly, think clearly, or connect meaningfully. Over time, sleep deprivation raises our risk for anxiety, depression, weakened immunity, heart disease, and even memory loss.
On the other hand, quality sleep serves as a daily reset for your entire system because it:
Supports emotional regulation and stress recovery
Allows your brain to process emotions and form memories
Helps your body repair cells and fight inflammation
Restores balance in your autonomic nervous system by shifting you from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest
If you’re doing all the “right things” but still feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or foggy, it might be time to look at your sleep.
📌 This month, let’s treat sleep as an active form of self-respect:
Choose a consistent bedtime.
Turn off the noise earlier.
Make rest a non-negotiable act of self-care.
Your nervous system will thank you, and so will your future self!
Recipe of the Month:
Rhubarb Crisp
For the last 30 years, Annette has consistently grown rhubarb in her garden, and our family has enjoyed it year after year. Over Memorial Day weekend, she and Don made the most delicious rhubarb, strawberry, and blueberry crisp, and we all enjoyed some “Special Occasion” food as we indulged in one of our family’s classic recipes.
Ingredients
8 cups rhubarb (sliced or diced) or a combination of rhubarb and berries - make sure it totals 8 cups
2 cups packed brown sugar
2 cups rolled oats
1 1/2 cups flour
2 T. cinnamon
1 cup butter, cut into pieces
Instructions
Combine rhubarb - or rhubarb and berries - with one cup brown sugar and toss to coat.
Grease a 15 x 10-inch glass casserole.
Arrange the combined rhubarb, berries, and brown sugar on the bottom of the dish.
Mix the remaining one cup of brown sugar, oats, flour, and cinnamon in a food processor. Process until well blended. Add butter, one piece at a time, until it resembles coarse meal.
Sprinkle evenly over the rhubarb mixture.
Bake in a preheated 350°F oven for one hour, or until the rhubarb is tender and the topping is golden brown.
Let stand at least five minutes or cool completely. Serve with vanilla ice cream.
